TOPIC: Joke of the day!

Re:Joke of the day! 28 Mar 2006 19:00 #6658

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INA: Anak! Dumudugo daliri mo! Akina't sisipsipin ko dali!
Tsup! Tsup! Tsup!

Ayan wala na
San ka ba nasugat anak?

ANAK: Wala po ako sugat. Pinatay ko lang po mga garapata ni Pitbull.

Isang gabi nagpapaalam ang dalawang magkapatid patungong
sayawan at kinausap nila ang kanilang lola na kagagaling lang sa
probinsiya:

APO 1: Lola pupunta lang kami sa tipar

LOLA: Ano bang tipar ang pinagsasabi n'yo?

APO 2: Eh di parti,kayo naman oh,

LOLA: Ayan kung anu-anong natututunan n'yo here sa manila, puro mga salitang kanto. Hindi tulad ng nasa province kayo maganda
ang pananalita n'yo, nakaka-bad trip kayo,****!

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Re:Joke of the day! 28 Mar 2006 19:29 #6662

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WIFE: Himala! aga mong umuwi ngayon.
HUSBAND: Sunod ko lang utos ng boss ko. Sabi nya \"GO
TO HELL\", kaya ito
uwi agad ako..


DAD: anak, bili mo ko softdrinx
ANAK: Coke or pepsi?
D: Coke
A: Diet or regular?
D: regular
A: bote o can?
D: bote
A: 8 oz o litro?
D: Punyeta!! tubig na lang!
A: viva o wilkins?

AMO: sagutin mo ang telepon inday!
INDAY: (baligtad ang hawak) hilo? hilo?
AMO: baligtarin mo!
INDAY: lohi? lohi?
AMO: telepon ang baligtarin mo!
INDAY: Puntili, puntili


Pedro: Galing ako sa doktor, nakabili nko ng hearing
aid. Grabe! ang linaw
na ng pandinig ko!
Juan: Talaga?! Magkano bili mo?
Pedro: Kahapon lang

Teacher: We are descendants of Adam and Eve!
Student: That's not true! My dad sez we are
descendants of an Ape!
Teacher: We are not talking about your FAMILY!

Wife: Lab, may taning na ang buhay ko. Huling gabi
ko na to, let's make love.
Husband: Heh! tumigil ka nga. maaga pa akong
gigising bukas, buti ikaw hindi na.

KRIMINAL1: \"Pare, sigurado ka bang dito dadaan yung
papatayin natin?\"
KRIMINAL2: \"Oo, nagtataka nga ako, 1 oras na tayo
dito wala parin siya!
Sana naman wlang nangyaring masama sa kanya.\"<br><br>Post edited by: jhessica28, at: 2006/03/28 08:33

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Re:Joke of the day! 13 Apr 2006 21:38 #7673

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Dito siguradong matatawa kayo:
HA HA HA

www.wimp.com/information/

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Re:Joke of the day! 13 Apr 2006 23:11 #7676

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hehehehe, lol

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Re:Joke of the day! 20 Apr 2006 20:01 #8210

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A sexy woman went up to the bar in a quiet rural pub. She gestured alluringly to the bartender who approached her immediately. She seductively signaled that he should bring his face closer to hers. As he did, she gently caressed his full beard.

\"Are you the manager?\" she asked, softly stroking his face with both hands.

\"Actually, no,\" he replied.

\"Can you get him for me? I need to speak to him,\" she said, running her hands beyond his beard and into his hair.

\"I'm afraid I can't,\" breathed the bartender. \"Is there anything I can do?\"

\"Yes. I need for you to give him a message,\" she continued, running her forefinger across the bartender's lips and slyly popping a couple of her
fingers into his mouth and allowing him to suck them gently.

\"What should I tell him?\" the bartender managed to say.

\"Tell him,\" she whispered, \"there's no toilet paper, hand soap, or paper towels in the ladies room!\"

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Re:Joke of the day! 05 May 2006 14:11 #9179

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OOPS!!!! TOO MUCH INFORMATION


A guy was in the line at the supermarket, when he noticed a beautiful blond woman smiling and waving at him. So he says, \"Do I know you?\"

She replies. \"I may be mistaken, but I think you may be the father of one of my children.\"

Instantly his mind shoots back to the one and only time he had been unfaithful. \"Crap!\" he says. \"Are you the stripper from my bachelor party that I had sex with on top of Joe's pool table in front of all my buddies while your girlfriend spanked me with a wet celery and stuck a cucumber up my butt?\"

\"No\" she replies quietly. \"I'm your daughter's second grade teacher.\"?

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Re:Joke of the day! 12 May 2006 20:26 #9587

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A first-grade teacher, Ms Neelam was having trouble with one of her
students the teacher asked,\"Boy, what is your problem?\"

Boy answered, \"I'm too smart for the first-grade. My sister is in the
third-grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the
third-grade too!\"

Ms. Neelam had enough. She took Boy to the principal's office.

While Boy waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the
principal what the situation was. The principal told Ms Neelam he would
give the boy a test and if he failed to answer any of his questions he was
to go back to the first-grade and behave. She agreed.

Boy was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed
to take the test.

Principal: \"What is 3 x 3?\"

Boy: \"9\".

Principal: \"What is 6 x 6?\"

Boy: \"36\".

And so it went with every question the principal thought a third-grade
should know. The principal looks at Ms. Neelam and tells her, \"I think Boy
can go to the third-grade.\"

Ms. Neelam says to the principal, \"I have some of my own questions.

Can I ask him ?\" The principal and Boy both agree.

Ms. Neelam asks, \"What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?

Boy, after a moment \"Legs.\"

Ms. Neelam: \"What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?\"

Boy: \"Pockets.\"

Ms. Neelam: What starts with a C and ends with a T, is hairy, oval,
delicious and contains thin whitish liquid?

Boy: Coconut

Ms. Neelam: What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky? The
principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer, Boy
was taking charge.

Boy: Bubblegum

Ms. Neelam: What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down and a
dog does on three legs? The principal's eyes open really wide and before he
could stop the answer...

Boy: Shake hands

Ms. Neelam: Now I will ask some \"Who am I\" sort of questions, okay?

Boy: Yep.

Ms. Neelam: You stick your poles inside me. You tie me down to get me up. I
get wet before you do.

Boy: Tent

Ms. Neelam: A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you're bored. The
best man always has me first. The Principal was looking restless, a bit
tense and took one large Patiala Vodka peg.

Boy: Wedding Ring

Ms. Neelam: I come in many sizes. When I'm not well, I drip. When you blow
me, you feel good.

Boy: Nose

Ms. Neelam: I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I come with a quiver.

Boy: Arrow

Ms. Neelam: What word starts with a 'F' and ends in 'K' that means lot of
heat and excitement?

Boy: Firetruck

Ms. Neelam: What word starts with a 'F' and ends in 'K' & if u dont get it
u have to use ur hand.

Boy: Fork

Ms. Neelam: What is it that all men have one of it's longer on some men
than on others, the pope doesn't use his and a man gives it to his wife
after they're married?

Boy: SURNAME

Ms. Neelam: What part of the man has no bone but has muscles, has lots of
veins, like pumping, & is responsible for making love ?

Boy: HEART.

The principal breathed a sigh of relief and said to the teacher, \"Send this
Boy to the University, I got the last ten questions wrong myself!\"

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Re:Joke of the day! 14 May 2006 19:10 #9702

  • rydhel1016
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Share ko lang to dun sa di pa nakapanood.

media.ebaumsworld.com/wmv/babydrummer.wmv

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Re:Joke of the day! 14 May 2006 19:34 #9707

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www.smartwifi.org.ph/
check the may 14 blog, ewan ko basta bigla nalang akong natawa, kala ko panaman official site ng smartbro-ken ^_^<br><br>Post edited by: cyberjames, at: 2006/05/14 09:41

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Re:Joke of the day! 19 May 2006 07:52 #9950

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Blog ng chimay ni sir ra3k

chona.blogspot.com/

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